Should I get a nose job? Should I get injections? Should I get a facelift…?
If you’re here reading this, then you probably have been asking yourself some question like that. I’ve had several people ask me how I made my decision (or decisions rather). And there are definitely a variety of reasons that a person can have. You may have been in an accident, maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s functional problems, or maybe it is purely cosmetic. I think it’s important to understand why you’re wanting to move forward and what you are hoping to achieve.
Let’s look at the why.
I think there is definitely a ‘healthy why’ and an ‘unhealthy why’. It’s important that you truly identify which category your ‘why’ falls into. For me personally, I chose to get a rhinoplasty because I didn’t like the way my nose looked and I also wanted to breathe better. My first step was to acknowledge the desire. I wanted a rhinoplasty since I was twelve, when my cute child nose started to change. Being so many years later, and with that desire still there, it was time for a self-assessment. I asked myself if the ‘why’ was for me or if I felt like I was pressured into it somehow (peers, family, social influence, media, etc.). After I decided that it was truly for me and me alone, I asked myself if I really thought it was going to make me look better/feel better.
I watched this documentary on BDD once and a very pretty girl kept getting surgery in hopes that it would change her self-image. In-spite of having the surgery she soon returned to feeling ugly and found a new thing (sometimes the same thing) to pick on. The issue clearly was not physical in nature but mental. Seeing that documentary so many years ago really impacted the way I make cosmetic-based-decisions. I saw how important it was to be brutally honest with myself (even though it is sometimes a hard thing to do). After a little soul searching I decided, “This is just for me. I don’t care what others think or say, what others have thought or said, what others will think or say. While I do hope for self-improvement, this isn’t a bandaid for deep seated self-esteem issues. I want a better looking nose and I want to breathe better. I am willing to take the risks for what I want.” (How’s that for a pep talk?)
Now let’s look at the what.
Let’s do a little exercise, and I mean really do it.
1. Fill in the blank: I just want to look ______ (prettier, younger, etc.) I want ______ (perfectly smooth skin, a smaller nose, etc.).
2. Answer the question: is what you are really trying to achieve reasonable/realistic? (Hint: if you used words like perfect, no wrinkles, etc. in the blank above then the answer is no.)
This is where the line between “enhancement” and looking “overdone” is drawn. Overdone equals unrealistic expectations plus surgery. Disappointment equals unreasonable expectations plus surgery. The other half of that equation is the skill level of the doctor plus surgery equals good or bad result. (I’m not big on math so I don’t know why that turned into a math session! Bottom line: A person could look very bad if they get surgery with unreasonable/unrealistic expectations or they could go in for something small and still look ridiculous if the doctor isn’t good.)
That being said, move forward with a decision for surgery with reasonable and realistic expectations. Sometimes your expectations might be far-fetched, and other times they may just be out of the realm of what the doctor can really do. I’ve sat at my doctor’s office many times whining about a small adjustment and he’s had to tell me, ” It doesn’t work like that”. So don’t feel stupid or alone if and when you come across the answer as “no”.
So why are you wanting to move forward and what you are hoping to achieve? I hope your why is planted firmly in steady ground and is your decision alone. I hope your what is reasonable and realistic so that you can achieve natural looking results and be very pleased afterwards.
Subscribe and keep your eyes open for Part 2 which is going to cover clarity and more insights on the what part I briefly just covered. I’m super excited for the next post!
I hope it turns your brain light on like it did for me!
Of course, Stay Lovely